At least you have feet.

I was watching Joel Osteen with my daughter one day. This is not a guy we watch on a regular basis, he just happened to be on. Personally, I like the guy and his sort of 'feel good about things' philosophy. It also helps that despite being a evangelical show, he doesn't do a lot of Bible banging, I really dislike that.

In this particular sermon, Joel talked about how we tend to look at the negative side of things, and how we dwell within them despite there being far worse situations that we could fall prey to.

Of course, my daughter and I became very extremist about his ideas that you shouldn't be too unhappy about being stuck in traffic because at least you have a car. Adding that line of reasoning, adding in the ridiculous and doing your best to mimic the esteemed Mr. Osteen makes for a real side splitter.

Some of the highlights were;

"You might be unhappy that your shoes are worn out and don't fit anymore, but at least your feet haven't been gnawed off by weasels in your sleep."

"You might be sad that you have to eat your broccoli, but at least nobody has snapped off your lower jaw with a crowbar."

"You might think you have it rough because you have to wear contact lenses, but at least nobody has scooped out your eyes with a melon baller and filled your eye sockets with concrete..."

And so on. Pretty soon we were laughing so hysterically we couldn't get through any more parodies.

Thank you Mr. Osteen. Your message was as correct as it was a source of much light hearted humor.